11 Tips for Junior Athlete Stress Management

When looking at the development and happiness of my junior clients (and my own children) it is very important that we not forget certain items.  Our children are not just shorter adults.  They process information, your expectations and their own perceived progress differently.  

• Be careful the child does not over train physically.  Working too hard for too long increases the risk of burnout and injury.
• The child should practice for a short period of time with high intensity.  Several short intense periods of practice are better from a stress perspective than one long enduring one.
• The child should think of the time off between practice sessions or matches as a part of training.  Relaxation and recovery are as important as work and effort.  Work to get the right balance of relaxation, fun, and hard work.
• Do not let the child play too many tournaments in a row.  How many is too many?  That will depend on the child’s age, stamina, and experience.  Make sure to listen to your child.  The scheduling of bouts of emotional and physical stress is extremely important.
• Know the stress signals and help your child put a number (1-10) on their current level.  Ask the child to be aware of his or her stress gauge: loss of energy, moodiness, loss of sense of humor, sleep problems, persistent colds or pains, among others.  Adjust their commitment levels accordingly.
• Help your child learn to say no.  When the player has had enough, he or she should let you and the coach know.
• Help the child take control.  Situations are not stressful; people are.  Emphasize to the child that he or she is not a helpless victim; situations are challenges to learn from and grow.
• Boredom is stressful so help the child be creative in training.  The best barometer of stress is how much fun the child is having.
• Ask both yourself and your child, “If today was the last day she could ever play tennis, was it worth it?”  If the answer is no, something is wrong.  Don’t postpone the child’s happiness - or your own – until some special goal is achieved.  The workouts and play should be enjoyable now! Only then is the price worth the payoff.
• My personal favorite- Do not have your child train more hours per week than their age. This includes all sports that they may be involved in, not just their "main" one. It also includes all their games too. This does not included their own pickup games in the driveway, backyard or on the court. An occasional week during tournaments or camp is okay, but back to back weeks will prove to exhaust the child and/or make them question their commitment and what they are giving up to play.
• Ask your own children how you are doing on the sidelines. Do they hear you and if so, is it positive. After the game, are you critical of their performance or positive? Most often, kids know when they have had a bad game and do not need your immediate confirmation of their performance. Instead, how about "Did you have fun" and "I love to watch you play". These two statements and their reaction will go a long way to helping them learn to cope and trust. It also helps you know what actually helps them or hurts them from the parent/coach perspective.

We only have a short time with our junior students and our children. Let's help them maintain a healthy balance in life and learn the tools to cope with their inevitable stress. The positive tools they learn through sports as a kid will benefit them in school and the rest of their lives.

Tips for Parents of Young Players

One thing that I love to do is watch my children play sports.  It can be the most exhilarating experience or one of the most frustrating.  Just remember that your children should be on the court because they want to not to fulfill your dreams.  Your children will gravitate to and be successful at tennis if they feel progression, a sense of belonging and pride in themselves for playing.  Follow the suggestions below to help ensure you have a tennis player for life.

DO:

• Treat your child the same whether he or she wins or loses.
• Try to have fun and enjoy the tournaments and the travel.  Your unhappiness can breed a child’s guilt.
• Look relaxed, calm, positive, and energized on the sidelines.  Your attitude will help the child to play better.
• Make friends with other parents at tournaments.  Socializing can make the event more fun.
• Get involved if the child’s behavior is unacceptable during a match play.  Your child doesn’t want to be labeled a jerk.
• Let the coach do the coaching.  Too much input can confuse the child.
• Understand that the child needs a break from tennis occasionally.  It doesn’t mean the child is quitting or burning out, they just need a break.
• Be there when the child loses or gets discouraged. Be an understanding listener, not a fixer.
• At the same time, give the child some space when he or she loses.  Your youngster will want to be alone for a while, then he or she will be O.K.  Don't press the conversation, they will talk about it when they are ready.
• Keep your sense of humor.  When you laugh and have fun, your child’s stress level takes a big drop.

DON’T:

• Say, “We’re playing today.”  Instead, say, “You’re playing today.”
• Get too pushy.  Having them fulfill their obligations (pre-paid clinics or playing the consolation draw) is different than forcing them to play.
• Turn away when the child behaves in an un-sportsmanlike manner on the court.
• Tell the child what he or she did wrong right after a tough match.  The last thing they want is your criticism immediately off the court.  Be a source of strength to them not someone they wish to avoid.
• Ask the child to talk with you immediately after a loss.
• Make enemies with your child’s opponents parents during a match.
• Act negatively or angrily (verbal or non-verbal) on the sidelines unless your child’s acting in an unsportsmanlike manner.  
• Your child is watching more than you think.  Their winning or losingcannot determine your approval of them.  
• Make your life your child’s tennis.
• Make your child feel guilty for all the time, money, and sacrifices you’re making for his or her tennis.
• Think of your child’s tennis as an investment for which you expect a return.
• Live out your own dreams through your child’s tennis.
• Try to take the coach’s job away.  Be the parent.
• Compare your child’s progress with that of other children, especially siblings.
• Badger, harass, or use sarcasm to motivate your child.  It may work in the short term, but they will rebel to your threats or mistreatment.
• Threaten or use fear to improve your child’s tennis discipline.

I hope you will use these suggestions for the betterment of your children.  We were blessed with parents that used these principles to assist and nurture our tennis games and lives.  Be the type of tennis parent your children deserve. See you on court.

Values of Tennis

Tennis is one of the best sports in the world for many reasons.  It is a lifetime sport and can be played by everyone in the family.  It promotes healthy exercise and brings friends together.  Here are the values that tennis also teaches.

• It builds self-confidence and self-esteem.
• It teaches the child how to be a competitor and how to uphold the standards of good sportsmanship and respect for opponents.
• It teaches self-discipline and self-reliance.
• It teaches goal setting and that hard work will lead to achievement.
• It is a lifetime sport, good physical exercise, and fun.
• It teaches stress management.
• It teaches development of a positive attitude in spite of great difficulty and adversity.
• It stresses problem solving under pressure.  In fact, playing tennis can be perceived as nothing more than a continuous presentation of problems.
• It teaches independence through travel and through relationships with a wide variety of people.
• It teaches emotional and physical balance.  Tennis is proving to be one of the healthiest, least injury-prone sports juniors can play.  It teaches juniors how to relax and how to recover under pressure.
• It is a great family sport.

Get out on the court together and enjoy the sport of a lifetime.

Mental Toughness on Court

One of the toughest things to do during a tennis match is to remain competitively calm and relaxed.Those that do it best usually win their fair share of matches, while those who are mentally weak meltdown at crucial times.  These are a few steps to controlling your mental state while on court.

• Eye Control- Keep your eyes from watching things that break your concentration. Watch the strings, the ground, the ball etc.
• Rituals- Follow a specific routine or ritual on return of serve and before serving.
• Pace- Control the pace of the match, within your limits, that best suits the situation and your comfort level.
• Breathing- Control your breathing between and during points. Take deep breaths when in trouble.
• Intensity- Project high positive energy even if you don’t actually feel energized.
• Calmness and Relaxation- Actively relax your muscles between points. Try to project the image of being relaxed and calm. Never let your opponents see you sweat.
• Self-talk- Shut off all negative comments during play. Have specific positive self talk statements to replace any negative talk that goes on in your mind.
• Attitude- Maintain and sustain a positive mental attitude. Be in control of your thoughts and your responses.
• Enjoyment- Maintain a balance of fun and enjoyment. Project a challenged and winning attitude at all times. Savor the battle.
• Manage mistakes- Show no emotion on mistakes and make certain you clear any negative feelings before the next point.  Don't drop your head and let them know they are winning the battle.

4 STAGES BETWEEN POINT RESPONSE

Most professional tennis players take their short time between points to reset their mind.  Nothing can be done about the previous point now, so let go and move on.  Here are 4 stages to put into your game to help you reset and recharge your mental state.

1. Positive Physical Response- Make a quick decisive move as soon as point ends.  Andre Agassi did this best after each point.  Moving to pick up a ball or changing sides helps to put the past behind you.

2. The Relaxation Response- Let your body recover from physical and mental stress.  Shaking your arms or dropping your shoulders can instantly let the stress go.

3. The Preparation Response- Establish in your mind exactly what you plan on the next point.  Know where you are going to hit the serve or return and focus on the task at hand.

4. The Automatic Ritual Response- An automatic move that deepens concentration and prepares you to play. Straightening your strings, bouncing on the balls of your feet, etc.  Even having key words that refocus you makes a big difference at crunch time.

I hope that these will help you in your next match.  If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments below.

In Match Stress Reduction Techniques

It is often true that our toughest competitor in tennis is one's self.  Battling one's emotions will not only distract you from the task at hand, but it has the capability to unravel your entire game plan.  Below are a few suggestions of how to reduce your stress during a match, so that you focus will come back online.

Physical

• Shake your arms and let them dangle from your shoulders, letting all the tension go out of your arms and making them feel sloppy and loose.
• Let your jaw dangle and release from clenching your teeth.
• Bounce on your toes between points, staying centered and light on your feet.
• Do some stretching between points.
• Sit down on the changeovers whether you are tired or not.
• Swing the racquet loosely between your fingers in between points or place it in your non-dominant hand to avoid the "death" grip.

Mental

• Be your own best friend and talk positively to yourself (examples).
• Eliminate negative thoughts or pictures.
• If you are feeling too much pressure, let your mind wander between points.  Too much intensity can be tiring.
• Learn to put things in a humorous light.
• Put things in perspective overall.  Enjoy the battle.
• Clear your mind between points.  You cannot change the past only the future.  Don't dwell on your mistakes, learn from them.
• Keep analyzing and planning to a minimum, using picture images rather than words.
• Picture yourself at your best, performing at your highest level.

Breathing

• Take some deep breaths between points.  Focus on your breathing and make sure they are not too shallow.  Listen and feel it.
• Breathe from the diaphragm between points to avoid hyperventilation.
• Breathe in conjunction with opponent's shots and breathe out on impact with your shots.
• Count backward from 10 slowly to calm yourself and bring about a more relaxed state.

Behavorial

• Take more time in preparing for serve and return of service.  Touching the back fence in between each point will make you become more deliberate.
• Act confidently and you will feel that way.  Shoulders and chin up, do not show your frustration to your opponent.
• Keep the racquet in your hand.  Throwing the racquet may feel like a release, but it is the beginning of the downward spiral.
• Smile between points once in a while.
• Move more deliberately in picking up balls in between points.
• Spin the racquet in your hands and straighten your strings between points.

I hope these simple suggestions will help you stay on top of your stress in your next big match. Gandhi said it best when he stated:

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

Please comment and let me know if you have other techniques that work well for you.  See you on the court.

Basic Tips for Club Tennis Professionals

Guest Post by Fred Burdick, USPTA Master Professional

During my years as a USPTA Professional, I have learned so much from other professionals, and I thought I should pass along some of those basic tips. These will help you avoid pitfalls and give you a long career at your club. So not in any order, here are a few:

1. You are not a member of your club, never think you are. When you start thinking that you are not an employee, you run into trouble.

2. Have a contract. If your general manager has one then you can point to his or her contract to justify yours. The USPTA can help provide you with a sample that can serve as a guideline.

3. Don't always take an increase in your base salary as compensation. If your salary after years of service to the club gets too high, some will start to question it. There may be other ways to increase your compensation.

4. Only make the same 10 percent of club members mad at you each year. On average, approximately 10 percent of every club membership is going to be unsatisfied, no matter what you do. Just make sure it is always the same 10 percent or at the end of five years, you’ll have 50 percent of the membership mad at you and you’ll be looking for a new job. Peter Howell, a long-time Atlanta professional, told me this early in my career.

5. Don't drive an expensive car. Sound silly? Think about it. It is smarter to keep a low profile than to drive up in a new BMW or ­Mercedes. Otherwise, your membership will think you are making too much ­money.

6. Don't play golf at your club. Face it, golf rules the club. You don't need to be holding up the club board member and his/her foursome. More importantly, you don’t want your members to think that you have so much time on your hands that you can be away from your tennis operations.

7. You provide a service. You are not a servant. Rarely, but it happens that members of the club think of you as something you are not.

8. Learn their names and use them often. Members belong to a club for a lot of reasons, but one is to be treated in a special manner they don't get at public facilities. Knowing their names is special.

There are many more, but I hope these are as helpful to you as they have been for me.

How to Beat 5 Troublesome Opponents

Have you ever had opponents that you had trouble outsmarting? I have been there a few times and although I may not won the match, I did learn something about them and tried to apply it the next time. Here's a few tips on these troublesome opponents.

• The Cheater- Don’t come out hating cheaters, thinking you always lose to them. This will give you negative emotion, causing you to lose control of your feelings and your game plan. The common response is to try and get even with your own bad calls or try to blow her off the court. You hit the ball at her and get upset and scream. This only lets the cheater know that she is winning. The best response is to play steadier tennis, making few if any mistakes. Don’t act surprised by anything that the cheater does, don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing that she is getting away with anything. If necessary and available, have someone call the lines for your court.

• The Player You’ve Never Beaten- The first mistake you make is walking onto the court believing you have no chance to win. That no matter what you do, you’re going to lose, so why even try. The feeling of intimidation may have you trying to raise your game to a level that you cannot maintain for very long. Realize that your opponent does have weaknesses and is not invincible. The best response is to tell yourself, “I do have a chance to win.” Develop a game plan tailored around your strengths and follow it. Seek to exploit your opponents weaknesses, this will raise your own confidence in winning. Understand your opponent is supposed to win all the pressure is really on them.

• The Player You Always Beat- Don’t take the victory for granted. If your game is off and your opponent is playing well, you may not be able to get serious enough to pull out the win. Fight the temptation to lower your intensity, no matter how easy the match appears. If you start to run away with the match, look at it as a great way to get match experience and iron out some kinks in your game.

• The Player You Have Never Played Before- Resist thinking “I don’t need to know anything about my opponent, so I’ll just go out there and play my own game.” Another mistake is to draw conclusions too quickly and overrate her skills after two or three good shots. If it is impossible to ask others about your opponent’s game or watch her play beforehand, use the warm-up to profile her strengths and weaknesses. Remember not to be overwhelmed by a few spectacular shots. Search for flaws because she will have some.

• The Player Whose Game Drives You Nuts- This opponent is usually a pusher, dinker, lobber or junk-ball artist. You have already decided that there is no way you can play well against this style. The feeling is to punish this player for all the pain she has caused you. Playing this opponent is both a physical and emotional battle. Vow that this player will never beat you by taking you apart emotionally. Picture how you want to play before the match begins. If past strategies have not worked, come up with a new one. You know she drives you crazy; now decide to deal with it once and for all. Get excited about the challenge. Tell yourself, “If I can handle this opponent, I can handle anyone. This time I won’t let her throw my game off course.” Always keep your cool to get through this match.

Last but certainly not least, remember you cannot have a positive and negative thought in your head at the same time. Err on the positive side and learn from each match to become a better player. Good luck in your next match and hopefully this tips will guide you to a win. See you on court.

Changing the Purpose, Changes the Focus

In September 2012, I traveled to California and was fortunate to attend the USPTA World Conference on Tennis.  There were 850 tennis professionals there and many hours of great on and off court presentations.  I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Jim Loehr speak on “The Only Way to Win”, a topic in which he has written a book of the same title.  I would like to share a few thoughts from his presentation and my own interpretations.  We all know that tennis is a great sport for a lifetime, but what if we use it to help build character in our children.  We should make our goal to win or lose with respect and look at each match or practice as a journey and not a destination.  Tennis is the #1 sport for building character in our children and it gives them strengths for a lifetime of success.  Think about the factors facing our kids when we put them in a tennis match.

• They are all alone
• There are no timeouts
• There is a scoring system
• There is a ranking system
• There is no coaching
• Its one-on-one
• In tournaments, there are multiple competitions in the same day
• Opportunities to influence outcome by cheating
• No off season
• Both fine and gross motor skills required
• Variable climate

With these factors in front of them, think about the opportunities for children to grow in self-reliance and physical/mental stability.  When removing the Win/Loss as the sign of success or failure, children develop much faster and appreciate the growth as they improve.  What if we have a paradigm shift in thinking about junior tennis from:

Current

Purpose:   To Win

Scorecard:  Win/Loss Record – Ranking

Behavior:  Do whatever it takes to win/improve ranking

Future

Purpose:  To use tennis to build character = Win with Character

Scorecard:  Integrity, honesty, respect for others, focus, patience, positivity PLUS Win/Loss Record

Behavior:  Acting with integrity, honesty, humility, etc. as one attempts to win

I feel that putting character first will give our kids (my 7 & 9 year old's included) the great strengths we should all strive to achieve.  Because of this shift in purpose, imagine if other parents and children refer to your children’s moral character as kind, caring, generous, grateful, humble, truthful, dependable, loyal, authentic, trustworthy and possessing integrity.    Because of the shift in focus, we can help our children mentally with self-control, creativity, wisdom, critical thinking, decision-making, punctuality, organization and to become a challenge seeker.  We should all be so fortunate.  Do I feel tennis is the only thing needed, absolutely not?  Do I feel it is an integral part of character development?  It certainly was for me and my parents.  Can you implement these items that Dr. Loehr presents in his book over the next 6-12 months to help build a better junior tennis program? Please comment on successes you have had in the comments. Thanks and see you on court.