11 Tips for Junior Athlete Stress Management

When looking at the development and happiness of my junior clients (and my own children) it is very important that we not forget certain items.  Our children are not just shorter adults.  They process information, your expectations and their own perceived progress differently.  

• Be careful the child does not over train physically.  Working too hard for too long increases the risk of burnout and injury.
• The child should practice for a short period of time with high intensity.  Several short intense periods of practice are better from a stress perspective than one long enduring one.
• The child should think of the time off between practice sessions or matches as a part of training.  Relaxation and recovery are as important as work and effort.  Work to get the right balance of relaxation, fun, and hard work.
• Do not let the child play too many tournaments in a row.  How many is too many?  That will depend on the child’s age, stamina, and experience.  Make sure to listen to your child.  The scheduling of bouts of emotional and physical stress is extremely important.
• Know the stress signals and help your child put a number (1-10) on their current level.  Ask the child to be aware of his or her stress gauge: loss of energy, moodiness, loss of sense of humor, sleep problems, persistent colds or pains, among others.  Adjust their commitment levels accordingly.
• Help your child learn to say no.  When the player has had enough, he or she should let you and the coach know.
• Help the child take control.  Situations are not stressful; people are.  Emphasize to the child that he or she is not a helpless victim; situations are challenges to learn from and grow.
• Boredom is stressful so help the child be creative in training.  The best barometer of stress is how much fun the child is having.
• Ask both yourself and your child, “If today was the last day she could ever play tennis, was it worth it?”  If the answer is no, something is wrong.  Don’t postpone the child’s happiness - or your own – until some special goal is achieved.  The workouts and play should be enjoyable now! Only then is the price worth the payoff.
• My personal favorite- Do not have your child train more hours per week than their age. This includes all sports that they may be involved in, not just their "main" one. It also includes all their games too. This does not included their own pickup games in the driveway, backyard or on the court. An occasional week during tournaments or camp is okay, but back to back weeks will prove to exhaust the child and/or make them question their commitment and what they are giving up to play.
• Ask your own children how you are doing on the sidelines. Do they hear you and if so, is it positive. After the game, are you critical of their performance or positive? Most often, kids know when they have had a bad game and do not need your immediate confirmation of their performance. Instead, how about "Did you have fun" and "I love to watch you play". These two statements and their reaction will go a long way to helping them learn to cope and trust. It also helps you know what actually helps them or hurts them from the parent/coach perspective.

We only have a short time with our junior students and our children. Let's help them maintain a healthy balance in life and learn the tools to cope with their inevitable stress. The positive tools they learn through sports as a kid will benefit them in school and the rest of their lives.

Tips for Parents of Young Players

One thing that I love to do is watch my children play sports.  It can be the most exhilarating experience or one of the most frustrating.  Just remember that your children should be on the court because they want to not to fulfill your dreams.  Your children will gravitate to and be successful at tennis if they feel progression, a sense of belonging and pride in themselves for playing.  Follow the suggestions below to help ensure you have a tennis player for life.

DO:

• Treat your child the same whether he or she wins or loses.
• Try to have fun and enjoy the tournaments and the travel.  Your unhappiness can breed a child’s guilt.
• Look relaxed, calm, positive, and energized on the sidelines.  Your attitude will help the child to play better.
• Make friends with other parents at tournaments.  Socializing can make the event more fun.
• Get involved if the child’s behavior is unacceptable during a match play.  Your child doesn’t want to be labeled a jerk.
• Let the coach do the coaching.  Too much input can confuse the child.
• Understand that the child needs a break from tennis occasionally.  It doesn’t mean the child is quitting or burning out, they just need a break.
• Be there when the child loses or gets discouraged. Be an understanding listener, not a fixer.
• At the same time, give the child some space when he or she loses.  Your youngster will want to be alone for a while, then he or she will be O.K.  Don't press the conversation, they will talk about it when they are ready.
• Keep your sense of humor.  When you laugh and have fun, your child’s stress level takes a big drop.

DON’T:

• Say, “We’re playing today.”  Instead, say, “You’re playing today.”
• Get too pushy.  Having them fulfill their obligations (pre-paid clinics or playing the consolation draw) is different than forcing them to play.
• Turn away when the child behaves in an un-sportsmanlike manner on the court.
• Tell the child what he or she did wrong right after a tough match.  The last thing they want is your criticism immediately off the court.  Be a source of strength to them not someone they wish to avoid.
• Ask the child to talk with you immediately after a loss.
• Make enemies with your child’s opponents parents during a match.
• Act negatively or angrily (verbal or non-verbal) on the sidelines unless your child’s acting in an unsportsmanlike manner.  
• Your child is watching more than you think.  Their winning or losingcannot determine your approval of them.  
• Make your life your child’s tennis.
• Make your child feel guilty for all the time, money, and sacrifices you’re making for his or her tennis.
• Think of your child’s tennis as an investment for which you expect a return.
• Live out your own dreams through your child’s tennis.
• Try to take the coach’s job away.  Be the parent.
• Compare your child’s progress with that of other children, especially siblings.
• Badger, harass, or use sarcasm to motivate your child.  It may work in the short term, but they will rebel to your threats or mistreatment.
• Threaten or use fear to improve your child’s tennis discipline.

I hope you will use these suggestions for the betterment of your children.  We were blessed with parents that used these principles to assist and nurture our tennis games and lives.  Be the type of tennis parent your children deserve. See you on court.

Control Factors in Tennis

When on the tennis court, it is possible for you to get upset over things happening during the match. It is important when you are playing to concentrate on the items you can control and let go of the things you cannot.  Below is a short list of what we can control and what we cannot.  Review and remember.

Factors in tennis which are not under your control:

• Accidents or luck
• The court conditions, playing surface
• The weather, sun, wind, temperature, etc
• The opponent, their performance on any given day
• The officiating, bad calls, etc
• The crowd and your opponents' supporters
• Types of tennis balls used
• The time of day you play your match
• The visual background
• Winning or losing: The outcome of the match

Factors in tennis which are under your control:

• Your energy and enthusiasm
• Your attitude
• Your breathing
• Your degree of muscle tension
• Your strokes
• Your thinking, therefore your feelings and emotions
• Your imagery
• Your preparation for playing including your physical condition
• You choice of equipment
• Your bodily movement
• Your effort
• The match tempo
• Your demeanor, the way you walk, talk, look, and act
• YOU!!!

Focus on the items you can control and don't sweat the things you can't control.  We are a product of our thoughts so keep them positive.

In Match Stress Reduction Techniques

It is often true that our toughest competitor in tennis is one's self.  Battling one's emotions will not only distract you from the task at hand, but it has the capability to unravel your entire game plan.  Below are a few suggestions of how to reduce your stress during a match, so that you focus will come back online.

Physical

• Shake your arms and let them dangle from your shoulders, letting all the tension go out of your arms and making them feel sloppy and loose.
• Let your jaw dangle and release from clenching your teeth.
• Bounce on your toes between points, staying centered and light on your feet.
• Do some stretching between points.
• Sit down on the changeovers whether you are tired or not.
• Swing the racquet loosely between your fingers in between points or place it in your non-dominant hand to avoid the "death" grip.

Mental

• Be your own best friend and talk positively to yourself (examples).
• Eliminate negative thoughts or pictures.
• If you are feeling too much pressure, let your mind wander between points.  Too much intensity can be tiring.
• Learn to put things in a humorous light.
• Put things in perspective overall.  Enjoy the battle.
• Clear your mind between points.  You cannot change the past only the future.  Don't dwell on your mistakes, learn from them.
• Keep analyzing and planning to a minimum, using picture images rather than words.
• Picture yourself at your best, performing at your highest level.

Breathing

• Take some deep breaths between points.  Focus on your breathing and make sure they are not too shallow.  Listen and feel it.
• Breathe from the diaphragm between points to avoid hyperventilation.
• Breathe in conjunction with opponent's shots and breathe out on impact with your shots.
• Count backward from 10 slowly to calm yourself and bring about a more relaxed state.

Behavorial

• Take more time in preparing for serve and return of service.  Touching the back fence in between each point will make you become more deliberate.
• Act confidently and you will feel that way.  Shoulders and chin up, do not show your frustration to your opponent.
• Keep the racquet in your hand.  Throwing the racquet may feel like a release, but it is the beginning of the downward spiral.
• Smile between points once in a while.
• Move more deliberately in picking up balls in between points.
• Spin the racquet in your hands and straighten your strings between points.

I hope these simple suggestions will help you stay on top of your stress in your next big match. Gandhi said it best when he stated:

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior.

Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits.

Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

Please comment and let me know if you have other techniques that work well for you.  See you on the court.

Changing the Purpose, Changes the Focus

In September 2012, I traveled to California and was fortunate to attend the USPTA World Conference on Tennis.  There were 850 tennis professionals there and many hours of great on and off court presentations.  I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Jim Loehr speak on “The Only Way to Win”, a topic in which he has written a book of the same title.  I would like to share a few thoughts from his presentation and my own interpretations.  We all know that tennis is a great sport for a lifetime, but what if we use it to help build character in our children.  We should make our goal to win or lose with respect and look at each match or practice as a journey and not a destination.  Tennis is the #1 sport for building character in our children and it gives them strengths for a lifetime of success.  Think about the factors facing our kids when we put them in a tennis match.

• They are all alone
• There are no timeouts
• There is a scoring system
• There is a ranking system
• There is no coaching
• Its one-on-one
• In tournaments, there are multiple competitions in the same day
• Opportunities to influence outcome by cheating
• No off season
• Both fine and gross motor skills required
• Variable climate

With these factors in front of them, think about the opportunities for children to grow in self-reliance and physical/mental stability.  When removing the Win/Loss as the sign of success or failure, children develop much faster and appreciate the growth as they improve.  What if we have a paradigm shift in thinking about junior tennis from:

Current

Purpose:   To Win

Scorecard:  Win/Loss Record – Ranking

Behavior:  Do whatever it takes to win/improve ranking

Future

Purpose:  To use tennis to build character = Win with Character

Scorecard:  Integrity, honesty, respect for others, focus, patience, positivity PLUS Win/Loss Record

Behavior:  Acting with integrity, honesty, humility, etc. as one attempts to win

I feel that putting character first will give our kids (my 7 & 9 year old's included) the great strengths we should all strive to achieve.  Because of this shift in purpose, imagine if other parents and children refer to your children’s moral character as kind, caring, generous, grateful, humble, truthful, dependable, loyal, authentic, trustworthy and possessing integrity.    Because of the shift in focus, we can help our children mentally with self-control, creativity, wisdom, critical thinking, decision-making, punctuality, organization and to become a challenge seeker.  We should all be so fortunate.  Do I feel tennis is the only thing needed, absolutely not?  Do I feel it is an integral part of character development?  It certainly was for me and my parents.  Can you implement these items that Dr. Loehr presents in his book over the next 6-12 months to help build a better junior tennis program? Please comment on successes you have had in the comments. Thanks and see you on court.

10 Things to Notice About Your Tennis Opponents

It is very important that we learn to read our opponents and understand their strengths and weaknesses on the tennis court, especially during the warm-up. All players have tendencies and patterns that they repeat throughout the match and the sooner you uncovered these, the quicker you will be able to take advantage. Ask your partner what he/she noticed about the player they were hitting against and compare notes.  Not to oversimplify, but below are 10 things to notice about your opponent and expose during a match.

• Who has the weaker overhead? Lob this person, especially on the backhand side.
• Is one opponent weak in returning serves? Poach more against this person.
• Does either have a weak second serve? Stand in and take advantage of it. Take it on the rise and "steal time" from your opponent.
• Which opponent is the weaker volleyer? Play this person at the net. Shots at the body will test them and likely produce good results for your team.
• Is one person slower? Play this person out wide or work your drop shots.
• Which are their favorite strokes? Play all others, not these. Also pay attention to where in the court they like to hit their favorite strokes, everybody has patterns.
• What are their favorite positions on court? Make them play other positions. Baseliners are weaker around the net and vice-versa.
• What is the weakest stroke they possess? Play this one, time and time again until they prove you wrong.
• At what height do they prefer to take shots? Give them all other heights based on the limitations or their swing and grip. If a player has an extreme grip (semi-western/western) then shots played at the feet will become more difficult.
• What pace do they prefer? The difference between each playing level is the ability to control pace and depth. Vary your speed and spin to keep them off balance and make yourself less predictable. Need more doubles strategy?

Most importantly play within yourself. Play your game. Just because your opponents have a big serve or big forehand, don’t try and show them how hard you can hit it unless that is your weapon. Being the bigger hitter doesn't matter, the final score does. Don’t let your ego get in the way of you winning the match. Your ability to identify their strengths and weaknesses either in singles or in doubles will determine the outcome of the match. On the changeovers, make sure to reevaluate your initial analysis to make any necessary strategy changes. Be aware, make a strategy and you will play better tennis and more importantly win more matches. Good luck and have fun.